Green!

     "What are we doing? Look! We're upcycling! It's proven, sensible, the only thing to do these days. You read? Time Magazine featured this concept - I'm applying it! It's a life-cycle issue: I've completed the analysis, look - what goes in the pipe, what comes out of the pipe! I bet you didn't even know there was a pipe! Green! Shouldn't we be GREEN! Everyone else is GREEN! I want to be green too! Me and the little guy here! Look at him, tell her - go ahead, tell her!"
     "Green, Papa."
     "See, he knows, we'll be LEED certified, right here! BOnk! BOnk!"
     "BOnk!"
     "GGC, ISO, MFA - that's right, it's a work of art! I'm going for my Masters! Right Munchkin?"
     "Right Papa!"
     "Put down the scissors and move away from my son."
     "Your son? Yours? Hmm... looks like my son to me! And this? My hair now! He doesn't need it, I need it - up-cycling! Not just recycling, re-purposing! Think of it! Reclamation! Re-Happy!"
     "Re-Happy! Papa!"
     "That's right little man! Re-Happy! Your hair on my head! A little glue - recycled glue! Yes, yes, yes!"
     "You're impossible."
     "Tell it to the planet!"