A good friend of mine has a small back problem. He tells me he has a prescription for ninety pain killers a month. I say, are you serious? And what pain, you lying sack of sand?!
What I want to know is this: What kind of pain can I claim to get that script for pain killers?
I have lots of pain! Mental anguish mostly, distress, self-loathing on a scale serious enough to instigate malicious, internal physical trauma, nervous tension! Heck, my hair has fallen out! Surely that is either the cause of, or a result from, some kind of serious, debilitating pain. I have a great pain in my rear-end! The stuff was in my genes when I was born, fast acting and latent, time released, from here to there! I wear pain like a hair shirt and tight panties. Where’s my script for pain relief?! Huh?